Stress and the Effects on Communication
A quick review of what stress is and how communication goes awry as a result will be the topic for our August 1st of “First Tuesday” on Inner Vision.
Our minds think stress if there is anything we’re worried about. It could be a health issue, family problem or difficulty at work.
However, our bodies experience stress as any CHANGE takes place in our lives. This includes happy things that occur as well as upsetting events. Stress takes place because it is the body’s de-compensation or wear and tear as we adjust to the continuously changing environment.
So, thinking about things or imagining about what might happen in the future is also perceived by the body as stressful. Pushing your body too hard, illness and environmental factors can cause changes in the body as well as, resulting in emotional stress.
Also keep in mind that emotional stress from arguments, conflicts, or other pressures can cause us to communicate in a less effective manner.
For example, Virginia Satir, a pioneer in family therapy, identified four styles of dysfunctional movements in response to stress (see “The New Peoplemaking”, 1988):
Placating
Blaming
Computing
Distracting
These are used to avoid, criticize, control or distract respectively, rather than talk through an issue until resolved.
Satir stated that the only way to communicate effectively is through leveling. This alleviates the need to use the four above mentioned dysfunctional communication modes and calls for careful listening, staying focused on one issue at a time and using “I” statements.
Here is a useful formula to use: (fill in the blanks)
“When you_________________, I feel______________________.
What I want/need is______________________________.
Tune in for more!